Thursday, May 3, 2007


One would think, by the title, that "mayonnaise" is a condiment, used for salads, on burgers, in sandwiches, etc...
As defined by the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, it's an exclamation: "Mayonnaise alot of people in here..."
My story stems from the former.
To start, all of the condiments in the cafeteria are kept in the open, and not refridgerated. The mooseturd, the catspuke, the man-on-knees, all with enough preservatives to keep George Burns alive for a few more years.
My esteemed co-worker, Ditzy Twitsy, marched into our office, opens the refridgerator (it's a small dorm size refrigerator, that she used to store her orchid in. for two weeks. Upon it being opened, and a horrific, horrendous, ER Nurse-dropping odor eminated from the bowels of the refrigerator, was scoured) that is shared by our two offices, and peers thoughtfully into it, and says, "Do you guys have any mayonnaise?" (envision demanding teenager intonation)
OS: "No."
Helpful co-worker: "Maybe there is some in the cupboard (where the disposable utensils/stylish plates) are kept."
DT: "Ew, do you think it'll be any good?"

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