Here ya go...
Thou shalt not whine in the event that you CHOOSE to purchase a GAS GUZZLING SUV when gas prices are over three dollars a GALLON!
I don't want to hear bragging about how awesome the vehicle is, or what a great deal the vehicle was, or what amenities it comes with, followed by counting change to buy gas. I don't even care about the selectable warming/cooling cupholders, mega-changer cd-player, or how you can fit your two dogs, kids, and fiancee. By and large, you intentionally inflicted this gas pig on yourself. WHY? BECAUSE you wanted it. Therefore, don't complain about your gas bill after trading a compact, foreign, 40-45 mpg vehicle for an 18 mpg vehicle, and expect me not to brag about the 530 miles I just got on 11.7 gallons of gas. Read it and weep people. My car gets 45 mpg.
And it's 5 years old.
And has 115k on it.
And NO. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.