Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Sarcasm NOT spoken here *NOTE THE HINT OF SARCASM*

Approached by a nurse looking for someone. 
I said "We issued a standard cloaking device upon hire to their position, therefore they are in the office, but just invisible."
The nurse didn't find the humor in that.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Everyone has Greenbean Casserole at Thanksgiving.
The time-honored pre-requisite dish that the creators would have you believe that the Native Americans served it to the Pilgrims as the first introduction to this meal.
Complete with the canned green beans from Green Giant, canned soup from Campbell's, and French's Fried Onions.
The last ingredient was found in a recent recipe that my husband and I tried recently, but finding it in the supermarket was as elusive as the canned soup would have been in the First Thanksgiving.  "Why"? you might ask.  Here's the reason.
I used to work in retail.  I am reasonably efficient at finding bizarre ingredients by thinking what they would be used for or associated with.
Fried Onions should be used as a coating, or as a breading, as it would have been for this application.  First pitch:  Bread Crumbs.  Ah, Strike one.  Second pitch:  Snack foods (It's a fried item).  Strike two.  Third pitch:  Soups.  Mighty Casey has struck out, but thankfully, we're not playing baseball.
Finally, as a last ditch effort, I try the canned vegetable aisle.  The one with peas, green beans, and corn.  Sure enough, on the top shelf, appeared my homerun: Fried Onions. 
Are you kidding me?  Since when did an item that in NO SHAPE (or  taste) resemble its original form (or even have the item as a first ingredient..Palm Oil) make it into the canned vegetable aisle?  I mean, REALLY!?  It's NOT A CANNED VEGETABLE.  It IS a CONDIMENT.  Why don't we start putting Potato Chips in the canned vegetable aisle!  At least most chips have potatoes as the main ingredients.