Tuesday, January 5, 2010


After being much less than graceful in my youth, such adventures have returned to haunt me.
And I know, I'm not that old.

I had 3 shoulder dislocations, followed by Bankart repair. 8 happy years without injury to that shoulder. And the surgeon moved on to a different area.
I fell asleep one night while watching a baseball game with my hands behind my head. I went to sit up and it dislocated. My husband pulled it and put it back in. I saw no reason to go to the ER. I called my PCP and asked for a referral to the orthopedist. I was told, "No, you need to be seen by the provider." Insert annoyance here.
I saw the provider for less than 2 minutes, who said "Yes, you need to see an orthopedist". Uh, DUH!? Didn't I say "I need a referral to see one?" The conversation in my head was "Thank you for wasting my time, money, and insurance for you to tell me what I already know!" Thank goodness for filters.

The appointment for the ortho came and he said "You'll need to do PT."
Well, because it was still considered a "Pre-existing injury" by the insurance (Because I didn't go to the ER when it happened), insurance wouldn't pay for physical therapy.

Home I go with the exercise program.
Fast forward 2.3 years (without issue)
First snow storm of the season...
Wonderhubby is gone to a meeting but on his way home...
I'm supposed to be going shopping with our local volunteer service for our community service.
The end of the driveway needs to be shoveled.
Our shed has a ramp to get the lawn mower and ATV in.
And to be able to open the door, you have to stand on the ramp. The one covered with snow. And Ice underneath.
I look down at my feet and realize "Hmmm...this probably isn't a good idea..." and before that thought process could turn into physical action, my feet flew out from under me, my hands went up over my head, I landed on my chest...in the snow. With the puppy outside with me.
I started to cry, realizing that my shoulder was not as it should be, not to mention that it hurt. Kind of like having your arm ripped out of its socket...Oh yeah, that's right...it WAS ripped out of the socket.
I was able to roll into a position that I could get to a standing position, and the puppy was trying to help...She's such a good girl, she just didn't know what was going on...
Slowly, I lumbered through the snow, making sure not to slip again.
Arriving at the house, I opened the door, and located my phone.
I dialed poor Wonderhubby...and commenced screaming.
He said "Honey, you're going to have to calm down because I can't understand what you're saying."
I wanted to know where he was, because if he was close enough, I was going to wait until he got home. If not, I was going to call the rescue station and see if anyone could take me down.
He was about 15 miles away. The station is 7. I called down and they started towards the house.
Wonderhubby beat the ambulance.
I gingerly got in the truck, my shoulder still out of place. Wonderhubby said "Big city, or small town..." I said "JUST GET ME THERE...it has to be put back in." He said "It's going to be bumpy..." and half joking I retorted "Maybe it will put it back in."

As we approached the left hand turn (braking), the force of slowing down and turning at the same time was enough to audibly reduce the dislocation.
I went into the ER and was seen promptly, xrayed, and put back in the room.
The shoulder was indeed back in place.
They put a sling on, and said "you're going to need to go see an ortho"...This was only the 5th dislocation...I had no idea! *insert sarcasm here*
So I saw my PCP, who said "Absolutely...I can facilitate that"
And the ortho I saw the last time I dislocated my shoulder felt like a logical choice.
When I went to see him, he walks in all flip and arrogant "so...why are you wearing a sling?"
"Uh, I dislocated my shoulder"
"Oh...first time?" (after clearly stated in my chart Shoulder dislocation x 3, Bankart repair 1999)
"Oh. Well, you know, these things are pretty black and white... you can either do PT or do surgery. What's it going to be? "
"Uh, how 'bout we find out what's wrong FIRST?"
"Oh yeah, we can do that too."

Fast forward to the MRI questionnaire...
"Do you have any allergies?"
"Ok, what are they?"
"Stupid people."
"Oh, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to imply YOU were stupid."

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